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River of Blood

by Little Kid

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How could one man contain all that light? I swear, if you cut off just one finger, the sun Would leak out like a river of blood. River of blood.
Apostles 03:50
I swear I’ll always see you, even when I close my eyes. I always did believe you when you said that you would rise. I watched you feed one thousand. I watched you feed four more. Kingdom clean and unbounded, hidden beneath the cellar door. Beneath the barren fig tree – you spoke there of faith and doubt – Threw mountains into the sea, cursed my roots, and cast me out. I watched you walk on water. I saw you, bathed in light. I watched you walk on water. I could not follow if I tried (and I tried). I watched the spear in your side bringing forth water and blood. That river would not run dry ‘til it reached the throne of God. I heard the tearing curtain, the temple clothed in dark. The sky remained uncertain. I washed my tunic in the yard. I heard the women weeping. I saw the empty tomb. Recalled a virgin sleeping, a saviour growing in her womb.
Frozen Cola 03:05
Thought you should know: I only pray when I want something, so, If you let your blood flow, Just know my love was never unconditional. My mind comes and goes. Your word gets mixed up with the things I think I know, So if you want this book wrote, Best throw your nets over the other side of that boat. Fucking holy roller. A brick of frozen cola. Christ, I guess I owe you now And then. Brother, don’t be slow. There’s shit I’ve seen that you just can’t begin to know. I stood before the throne; He hooked my jaw and put a ring right through my nose. I guess he made his point: He made the world and he could easily destroy it. If you can’t beat ‘em, join. If he kills your family, I suggest that you rejoice. Fucking holy roller. A brick of frozen cola. Christ, I guess I owe you now. Amen.
Lazarus stone. Brother, give up and leave me alone. Lazarus stone. You built me a tomb, and I made it my home. Lazarus stone. Took three days of ringing to cut through my sleep. When I picked up the phone, Your voice on the line sounded like heaven to me. Lazarus stone. Somewhere between all that warmth and that cold, Slept on the breast of some prophet of old. Lazarus stone. Lazarus stone. I heard someday the dead will sing praises to you In an unheavenly drone. The good notes will bend all the bad into tune. Lazarus stone. If I die again and find out it’s all true, I’ll feel I am owed, But I guess there’s no point in trying to reason with you. Lazarus stone.
Shirt 05:13
Climbed the fence behind the church, Tore the hem of my new shirt. Earned it fair by casting lots Beneath the shadow of the cross. Now I’m lost. In the garden where you wept: “Could you pardon me from death?” Dreamt you woke up in her bed, Learned to live among the dead, And went to hell. Chew me up, then spit me out. Fill my cup, then send a drought. Kill this city in a flood. Wash the filthy with your blood. River of blood.
Go to Hell 02:17
If you’re high when you die, are you guaranteed hell? The messiah walked by, just a-ringing his bell. And he’ll leave you on the altar, man, At your death or at his returning. If you’re high when you die, you’re a coin in the well. If you’re loving your love, when the chariots come – Your unbanded left hand shields your eyes from the sun – Standing naked, man, on Judgment Day, You won’t make it through the pearly gates. If your love gives a fuck, pity your bastard son.
Damascus 04:11
On the road to Damascus, Bearing what I considered good news, Something knocked off my glasses. Thought I was blinded by the light of some new truth. We’d do whatever you asked us, If you didn’t feel the need to speak in code. I heard the river flow past us. Decided then I would follow where it flowed. Something divinely inspired, In the bumbling hands of a minor prophet. Your word sent over a wire. The sharpest edge of your sword was softened. Someday we all may grow tired Of a holy covenant, old and arkless. I saw a pillar of fire, Turned around and walked into darkness. You’re scared of dying. You’re scared of dying. You’ll wake up somewhere down the line. You’re scared of dying. You’re scared of dying. You’ll wash up somewhere down the line. I’m not scared of dying, but Lord, I’m trying To keep eternity in mind.
Law 03:25
And I felt the power leave me, the instant she touched my hem. And her fingers traced a pattern, like writing in the sand. And it never seemed so easy: Father, Spirit, Son, Amen. Brother, nothing really matters. Just surrender to it, man. And I’ve never felt so lonely, though you touch me with your hands, With the plainness of some virgin, smoking outside with the band. And if your family tries to stone me, let the sinless lend a hand; I bet some bastard throws the first one while you’re writing in the sand. But I see the wounds you carry: they are not much different than Son abandoned by his Father, left to die just like a man. There are regions of my memory I want to access, but I can’t. When two mirrors face each other, the image loops forever, and Though I felt the power leave me the instant she touched my hem, I’ll be damned if I lie down there with the lion and the lamb. But it never seemed so easy: Father, Spirit, Son, Amen. Brother, nothing really matters when you’re writing in the sand.
Slow Train 05:57
You tried to stop the bleeding, taped a gun against your head: It left you feeling like a medium between the living and the dead. Your face is lit by high beams, as cars pass along the road. There’s a bed beneath your eyelids where a river used to flow. Some days you’re like a martyr; some days you just get stoned. Forget the things you wanted; you’re here for what you owed. Some days you feel like Abel; some days you feel like Cain, Reclining at your table while your brother cries in pain. And when you die, you don’t know Where the hell you will go. The train’s coming so slow. I know, I know. On some scroll, we found your letters to some god whose name we couldn’t write, Laid some leaves on down its centre, sealed it up, and rolled it tight. Lit it up behind the temple, and in the warm glow of its light, I swear my darling’s eyes resembled dark cathedrals in the night. Some days I feel like Jacob; some days I feel like Job: Broken pottery for scraping, limps from wrestling with the Lord. Some days I pray to Jesus; some days I don’t pray for shit. Though I fumble with the pieces, some days they almost seem to fit. And when I die, I don’t know Where the hell I will go. The train’s coming so slow. You know. You know.
In Church 06:05
Write me down as heavenless, Or don’t include me on your list. Son of God and Son of Man, Crouched and writing in the sand. You’ll be dead by thirty-three, Disciples laughing as you bleed, And those you called but never chose, Flipping quarters for your clothes. But god, I don’t know which is worst: That my prayers were rehearsed, That I’m covered in dirt, or That I was hung over in church, and my voice was the worst, and I forgot all the words. I’ll only love you ‘til it hurts. I’ll only love you ‘til it hurts. Making love in your backseat, Drunk and stupidly at peace. Think I remember getting dressed; My mind’s kept hidden all the rest. And Man was formed from Woman’s rib: They changed that detail for the film. The stumbling block you’ve always known Has now become the cornerstone. And all I know I had to learn, But the river turned Into blood and dirt, And I was hung over in church. And my whole family burned, And I was caught at my worst, When the Son of God returned. I’ll only love you ‘til it hurts. I’ll only love you ‘til it hurts.


released May 24, 2013


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Little Kid Toronto, Ontario

little kid was formed in the year of our lord 2009.


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